Monday, April 23, 2012

DAY 9: “I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM!”


Satan’s Lie: You've worked for me for too many years. Do you honestly think "He'll" accept you after all you’ve said and done? You’ve let God down. Do you think He wants you back after you fell into sin? Do you honestly think you are worthy to do anything for God?

Counter Action: BELIEVE that, “where sin abounds God’s grace does much more abound.” (Romans 5:20) There is no sin too great for the grace of God. It doesn’t matter what you’ve said – what you’ve done – where you’ve been – or how long you’ve been there! And child of God, when He forgives, it is for all sins…past, present, and future. There is now NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus! You are FREE from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2) REPEAT God’s Word to satan.   TELL satan, “Get behind me satan because I am in Christ and He has all power and authority over you! I AM FORGIVEN! My sins are under the blood of Jesus Christ and they are removed as far away from God as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12) I am in the palm of His hand and NO ONE can pluck me out! (John 10:28)

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God knew which direction I would take even before the foundation of the world. He knew satan would discourage me with his lies; sending me down a road I never meant to take. A road indelibly inscribed in my mind. It’s a road that I must never travel again for it is a road far away from God. It is far away from His protection, far from His provision, and far from His love. Just like the prodigal son, I left my father’s house and went to the far country…and there I wallowed with the swine. (Luke 15:11-32). BUT, just like Joseph who was sold into slavery by his own brothers, what was meant for evil God used for good.

 

I was saved at the age of seven. My brother had been killed in Vietnam when I was six and I started attending the church that had ministered to us during our time of bereavement. As a six year old child, my sin was ever before me. I was told by well-meaning, un-churched relatives that if you are good you’ll go to heaven when you die and if you're bad you will go to Hell. I couldn’t sleep at night because I wondered how I would ever know if I was “good enough”. By the time I was seven it clicked…I would NEVER be good enough. When I looked into the law of God it only left me guilty, condemned, without hope, and a slave to sin. According to God, my punishment was death (eternal separation from Him in a place called Hell). BUT, there was hope, forgiveness…and freedom in Jesus Christ. He had taken my punishment on Himself. He died so that when I believed in Him and His sacrifice that I would move from death to life. In that moment I became his daughter…a princess and joint heir with His Son.

 

I immediately became zealous of good works. I was telling anybody and everybody about what had happened to me and I was determined to walk the straight and narrow. I can even remember while being at a friend’s birthday party, a few decided to have a séance, I gathered a group in the living room and had a prayer meeting. Satan was not pleased. This little girl may win a few souls for Christ and winning one is too many according to his devilish plot for mankind. She’s got to be stopped. Then the evil seed was planted in the minds of a few willing souls.

 

I felt dirty and ashamed each time I was violated, and the mocking and bullying at school was unbearable at times, but I continued to believe that I belonged to God.

 

At fourteen, I felt the call on my life to go to the mission field. I really didn’t know what it all meant then, but satan did, and he wasted no time. His fiery darts and daggers came one after another in the form of lies straight from the pit. “God doesn’t want you. You’re no good to Him now. You’re not pure. You’re not good enough now…and it’s all your fault.

 

I felt such shame and guilt. I could no longer face my Savior, so I ran. I ran into the darkness of the night...away from my calling…and away from my God. I ran so far that I could no longer see His face or feel His presence. Surely, this is the place I’m supposed to be now. I’m not worthy to do anything for God, anymore.

 

I took the journey down that long dark road. I fell into sin that grieved my soul, but I pushed ahead feeling that I could never go back to the place I was. I no longer felt alive and free. I no longer felt anything…especially not forgiveness.

 

To hammer the nail into my coffin, satan struck with another arrow. This one felt as if it pierced my soul. I think they call it date rape. Personally, that sounds too tame, especially when more than two people are involved.

 

Again, I felt dirty and ashamed and again, I ran farther and farther from God…as far as I could possibly go…I was trying to get to a place where His eyes would not burn into my soul. Is this what Adam and Eve felt like in the garden when they knew evil far too soon? Just one sin caused them to hide from their Lord, my sins were many. How did I ever get so far from home?

 

The lies of the evil one had done their deed, just as satan planned…or had they? Did he really forget about this verse: “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” (Philippians 1:6)

 

I had hardened my heart on purpose. No one would ever hurt me again. No one would take me without my permission. I worked hard at making myself physically and mentally strong. I went to Karate classes for three years, attending five nights a week, taking all three classes every night (beginner, intermediate, and advanced), sparring for four hours on Sunday afternoons, and fighting in tournaments. Then it was on to the Marine Corps. I went to school to become a Military Police Officer, no less. The first impression given and the last when entering or exiting a Marine Corps base is that of an MP. A hard heart was developed indeed, but it was only putty in the Master’s hand. He was waiting for the right time, His time.

 

One of the worst decisions I ever made while out of the will of God was to marry a non-believer and not pray about whom I should marry. My marriage ended after eight years with four years of mental cruelty and infidelity. Children were born during this time…a boy and girl. It was because of those two little precious souls that I found my way back home to my Father's house. The Holy Spirit tugged on my heart concerning their tiny souls. Where would they spend eternity? Will they be with you? 

 

I still remember that day we walked into the church where it all started. The place I loved as a child…a place that always felt safe. I don’t even remember what the sermon was about. All I knew was I had to get to that altar and I had to get to my God. I wanted to make things right and enjoy the fellowship that I had longed for, but that shame had kept me from experiencing. The Father’s daughter had come home and I know there was rejoicing in heaven. His lost sheep was found and tucked safely back in the fold.

 

I told the lady that dealt with me at the altar that I didn’t know if I could get past all my sin and live a holy life and she showed me Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

 

Ever since that day I have not looked back and I dove headfirst into the Word of God. I was angry with myself when I realized the life I had forfeited for a life of regret. Thankfully, satan will one day pay, but for now, his reign of terror and pulling me to the dark side is over. My sin was great, but the grace of God was so much greater. My iniquity was as high as a mountain, but He hurled it into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:19) Satan is right about one thing…I am not worthy to live for God. No one in this life is or ever will be “worthy” to serve God. For all have sinned…all have come short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

 

I am a sinner by natural birth and there is nothing good in me. My righteousness was like filthy rags, but I’m now saved by His marvelous grace and when He looks at me He no longer sees Wanda, He sees His perfect Son, robed in pure white. I'm accepted and loved and He has taken this broken vessel and molded it into a vessel of honor. What others meant for evil, God has used for good...to save many alive. Many need to hear this message and find life and hope in Jesus Christ. 

 

God knew from the foundation of the world what we would go through in this life...living in a world ruled by sin and having a free will to do as we please. Because of that free will and our sinful natures we will make mistakes and wrong choices that lead us down wrong paths, especially when we listen to the evil one instead of our Creator, but not only that, we must deal with the sins and free will of others who can reach into our lives and take our innocence, destroy our trust, and crush our hearts.

 

Without Christ, these things can destroy us, but by His power we can rise out of our ash heap of a life and shine brightly for Him...showing the way to a Help and a Hope that transcends what this world has to offer. Thank you Jesus that someone showed me the way and by Your grace I too will point others to the Source of life and love and the Healing Balm of Gilead. He is all we need to make it through and one day He will take us to His home to live with Him forever and there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, and no more shame. This life will be forgotten and we will never have to cry again. Glory to God and the Lamb forever! 

 

So, satan, let it be known, starting today…”I AM FORGIVEN!” and you no longer have power over me! 

 


The Princess Warrior
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